You'll Never Know

I wrote this poem when I first got sick. I was having so much pain, I was taking so many different drugs and I just didn't feel like myself. No one would ever know that I was sick or in pain, and for people that didn't know me really well they wouldn't think that I wasn't myself.


Truthfully I believe I'm far from ordinary
Truthfully I believe that I'm something special
And I can't see what this silence brings
What, what does it bring to me
Oh, how can I not see

Truthfully I believe nothing is ever as it seems
Truthfully I believe that I'm not what you think
And I can't see through all of this darkness
Oh, I want to run away, because I never wanted to stay

I'm hiding my reasons
Over and over again, through all the seasons
I lie to you
Because I cannot stand the truth
Oh, I like to be deceiving

Fighting from deep within
You've got a hold of me
You're taking over
And I don't want to be this way anymore

Truthfully I thought I had things all figured out
Truthfully I thought I had the perfect plan
Oh, I need to see because not knowing is killing me
But the dark's deceiving
The medicine's making me someone I'm not used to being

I'm hiding all my reasons
Over and over again
Through all the seasons
I lie to you
Because I cannot stand the truth
Oh, I like to be deceiving

I want to keep my heart beating
I can't fathom the way this could go down
Down, down, down to the ground
Just keep me alive and breathing

And all these nights
They've kept me away for so long
From everything I hate

I'm so alone
But you would never know it
I don't let it showAnd you will never know it
I just lay low
So that you'll never know

Just let me walk away
Don't make this more than I can take
I'm slipping through the cracks of your fingers now
I'm falling faster than you can catch me

I'm out of reach
But I'm reading out to you
I'm gone without a sound
Oh, but you'll never know